Taking Stock During My Saturn Return
With my Sun/Venus/Mercury in House V I'm
thinking I should have been a teacher. Shame on me for not listening to
my gut feelings all those summers working as a camp counselor. Back when
I was at that special age, that time in our early twenties when you're
just along for the ride and can't worry about the future, I was very
much into audio-visual storytelling. My backyard hobby with a camcorder
had been diagnosed as a sign that I may have a career in video
production. I did not, and still do not, have an interest or grasp on
the latest tech used in the industry. I just wanted to express a tale
and have fun making it into something tangible. My creativity was
encouraged, and hey: Mercury rules my birth chart, so why not try working in the communication field?
I
got an internship with a reality tv company straight out of college,
and I excelled. I was offered a job months later at the same company and
my career began. Things were promising; others I had graduated with
were still working unpaid jobs and networking, coming to me with their
anxieties and looking for advice. I helped as best I could but
acknowledged that I 'made it' and should be proud of myself. Years went
by, circumstances changed, and my chances at remaining in the video
production world were later dashed simply due to budgeting concerns.
Perhaps
I wasn't sharp enough, maybe that production company really was on the
ropes, or maybe I truly wasn't meant for the high-energy workspace of a
video production company. Whatever the case, I was fired and could not
stick a new permanent job, video production or otherwise. Suddenly the
career-man became a freelancer, then a grocery clerk, then back to a
freelancer living paycheck to paycheck. Hello, late twenties and my Saturn return!
I
turned to esotericism after remaining a ship lost at sea for over two
years since that initial fall from grace. I've always been a bit aimless
and unfocused, but now the winds of fate did not blow me towards more
stable waters like they always had. I had taken my luck or talent for
granted, and I had lost my agency. Magic and astronomy helps me look at
these weird circumstances through different lenses to either assist or
alter those circumstances to my liking. It provides the agency I
believed to have lost.
I stare at this chart
daily, discerning its trines and square aspects. I think about how each
sphere of influence manifests in me: my Mars/Gemini makes me restless and arms me with a sharp tongue, my Jupiter/Leo remains an untapped source of energy I'm still looking to utilize, my Saturn in House VIII creates my aura of stoicism and gifts me with intuition, and my Sun/Venus/Mercury in Libra... I don't know how people I date put up with me. I still don't know what to make of my Moon
placement but I suspect it permeates everything else, much more subtly
so and yet with great power. While I may eventually be able to discern
what the future holds for me, I am living in the present and understand I
have lessons to learn from House V and VIII.
Magic
ritual and ceremony has been a part of my life for about two years now.
I've experimented with mercurial spirits the most, since they're noted
to 'come quickly when called' but also because my Ascendant is ruled by Mercury. All magical operations I perform are cross-referenced with my birth chart, which has me thinking a few things:
- I will more easily commune with the spirits of Mercury and Venus, as Mercury rules my Ascendant and Venus rules my sun sign. These are considered benefic planets who are typically eager to work with the magician as long as they're dignified.
- My Sun sign is afflicted in Libra, which also squares Saturn. I will have self-censoring issues and potential issues marrying someone, but I am also supposed to have a long life with my Ascendant. With Saturn in House VIII, I should have expected to entirely re-invent myself by the time he returned to Capricorn.
- I had ought to think about ways I can utilize the stellium in House V, perhaps teaching children as a reading specialist or ESL coach. Jupiter in House III also leans into this idea as I prefer to spread knowledge center-stage (though this aspect requires FOCUS, something I largely lack).
I look forward to archiving my thoughts,
observations, and methods to this blog as I strive to 'fix my life'
using esoteric and practical means. All posts beyond this first entry
will consider the points I've made above, and all elections will
reference this chart before I commit myself to ritual. Ideally, planets
associated with the spirit I'm working with should be in House I, IV,
VII, or X, and dignified. Mercury, the planet of my Ascendant,
should always be above the horizon (therefore in Houses VII through
XII). The moon should not be within 8 degrees 30' of the sun while in
the same sign, or within 12 degrees of the sun regardless of sign.
So
says the ramblings of an urban neophyte! The Brooklyn Mage vows to take
pen to paper and share results, failures, and musings here for others
starting their own practice. Mote it be, friends, and thanks for
reading.
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